A New Perspective on Goal Setting: Put the New You into the Equation

This is a fantastic tool that has served me well in many situations. However, over the years, I’ve also bumped into a few hurdles that this technique didn’t seem to be fit to handle.

What happens when I have multiple goals competing for my time and resources? Or what happens when circumstances have changed, and the options before me no longer seem to suit my goal? Or if I have changed, and the journey I’ve been investing so much in is taking me towards a destination I no longer want to go to?

Some years ago, I found myself well launched on a career path that was taking me up the corporate ladder steadily and quickly… surely a great place, but one where I no longer wished to be. I was progressing into jobs that were paying me more and more while fulfilling me less and less.

Oftentimes, we change faster than the time it takes to achieve our goals, particularly when they’re life-long ones.

“Plan lightly,” I often say. Circumstances change all the time. And, actually, we change all the time, too.

I had set my career goals back in 1998, with the mindset and beliefs that I held in 1998. No wonder I started feeling uneasy and out of place in 2011. And instead of questioning my goals, I started beating myself up, telling myself I was inadequate, I wasn’t working hard enough and I was a failure.

It took me another six years to realise that it wasn’t me that needed to change. It was my goals.

So, whenever we feel there’s a disconnect between us and our objectives, before we start beating ourselves up or we lose ourselves to confusion and frustration, it’s a very useful idea to reassess our current mindset and values.

Whether it’s about re-evaluating our current goal or choosing the next one, here are three empowering tools that we can use:

• our passions,

• our impact, and

• our values.

Passions

What do I really enjoy doing?

Now, an easy answer to that question could be lying on the sofa and watching Netflix, so perhaps I’ll rephrase it: what makes me feel fulfilled, an accomplished human being?

If I struggle answering that question, I can go back to my memories and look for situations where I felt fully realised. What aspects of those situations were making me feel that way?

Write them down.

Impact

Whether we’re re-evaluating a professional or a personal goal, we live in an interconnected world, and a very useful exercise is to assess what we do (or we want to do) by the impact it has on others, the help it gives them, the problems it solves, the benefits it produces.

It’s amazing how this approach can completely change how we look at what we do and even transform the language we use about it… empowering us in a way that connects us even more with the world around us (which is always a good sign that we’re on the right track).

I talked about this tool more extensively in a previous blog, Purpose and Connectedness. There’s a useful template and exercise in it, if you’re interested in exploring further.

Values (lastly but possibly most importantly)

In my blog of two weeks ago, Empower Your Values, Free Yourself from the Circumstances, I talked about how our values are more important than the circumstances in determining our deep happiness.

Also, they can change. Even very fast!

A whole society can go from homophobic to inclusive in a couple of decades. A whole country can swing from conservative to liberal values (or vice versa) in few years.

Individuals’ values can change even faster. One day we value power and status, and few years later we cherish travelling and free time. One day we thoroughly enjoy being single, and few months later we’re committed to a lifetime project with our partner.

So, whenever we face important decisions or whenever we feel disoriented, it’s a great practice to reassess our values.

These three ingredients together, that is, what makes us feel fulfilled, the impact that others receive from what we do, and what really matters to us, create the basis for spectacularly powerful and inspiring decisions.

If you’re at an important crossroad in your life or if you’ve been in a time of confusion lately, take those three steps. Write everything down and let yourself be amazed by the clarity that will surface from this exercise.

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This week’s blog ends here. However, since it basically is a practical application of the principles discussed in Empower Your Values, Free Yourself from the Circumstances, like I did two weeks ago, I’d like to recommend this potentially life-changing exercise that helps us achieve great clarity about our values and empowers our decisions.

The Value Tree

Here’s a list of values that Brené Brown put together in her Dare to Lead book.

Circle the ones that resonate the most with you. Feel free to add some more that might be missing. Then pick your top two. It can be very hard to pick your top two, but it’s a great exercise. The more you think about it, the more you see how your values are connected to each other and how one or two actually encompass all the rest.

You can draw a values tree and create a map for yourself about how your values all align and flow together into your two highest ones. Write a couple of sentences about what they mean to you and how they fit together. Basically, see how your top two can call all the rest of your important values to mind, or even necessitate them, how they all flow in alignment.

Draw your tree.

Here’s mine. My overarching value is abundance, living from a place of generosity and giving back, as opposed to one of scarcity. I drew my value tree by hand, but if you want to use a cool template, here are some good ones used by some of our students.

The clarity this exercise brings is unparalleled. You’ve just erected a lighthouse to guide you in all difficult decisions with drive, self-confidence and authenticity.

Well done!

Now go out and follow your leading values with no fear.

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