Learning to Run Toward, Not Away

I remembered the instructions I had just learned. The first thing to do is tell the person next to you to call 911. Then, while they call, assess the victim’s breathing. If there’s no breathing, proceed to mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and, if the heart is stopped as well, start chest compressions and continue until help arrives.

I turned to the person next to me and said, “Call 911.” She didn’t move right away. So I ran…to the nearest payphone. Away from the victim. So much for all that training.

After my call to 911, I saw other people helping the victim and I was relieved that he seemed to be ok. But I was deeply disturbed that I hadn’t had the courage to help him myself. Given the slightest excuse, I had run in the opposite direction. I had been scared of trying to care for someone who might be dying. I had followed my impulse to run away, not toward.

So I adopted a mantra for the next time: run toward.

And, over thirty years later, I can report that the mantra has worked in similar situations. When I’ve seen someone in distress, I’ve said “run toward” to myself, and my feet took me in the right direction. I’ve helped several people stop their bleeding and stay calm while they wait for an ambulance. I’ve never had to give CPR, thank goodness, but I think if I had to, I would.

My mantra came to mind again recently when my friend wanted to coach her son about how to initiate a difficult but necessary conversation. I offered my mantra, “run toward,” and she liked it. So I’m offering it to you.

If you’re like me, you may find there are many things that you’re running away from, but you really want to run toward. Even when I write a blog post like this one, I can catch myself running away. If I’m stuck on a sentence, I feel a quick impulse to check social media or the fridge… and I tell myself no, run toward.

Is this true for you, too? What do you need to run toward today?

Maybe it’s something on your to-do list. Reaching out to that friend you’ve lost track of? Organizing your finances? Exercise and self-care?

Maybe it’s something more overwhelming, but truly important. Do you run to address the climate emergency? To help the earthquake victims in Haiti, or the children who are hungry in your city?

If you’re not fully satisfied with your life right now, consider whether you need to run toward something big. Toward feeling your feelings fully. Toward a fuller commitment to your values or your dreams.

If you ask yourself what you’re avoiding, probably something will come immediately to mind. That thing you just thought of right now. That’s probably it.

Try this mantra: “Run toward.”

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