You Are How You Eat

My dear friend got a little peeved when we were turning fifty, because our similarly-aged friends were all asking each other, “Where did the time go?”

“What do you mean, where did it go?” she retorted privately to me. “You were there the whole time!”

And I thought she had a point…until I came across research showing that people’s minds are actually not there, but elsewhere, around half the time. Our minds wander into the future or the past, lost in a mental movie, not fully experiencing the present moment. Half the time! No wonder we feel we’re missing something!

So how can we be more present for our lives? It’s a skill we can build with presence practices.

Chances are, you already have a presence practice. If you play a musical instrument, engage in a sport, or love to smell the top of your baby’s head, those are all times in your day when you visit the present moment for the full immersive experience that is real life. If you love to travel, probably one reason is that it brings you more into the present moment with new sights, sounds and tastes that awaken your attention. All of these practices can make us feel more alive.

But we don’t have to buy a piano or board an airplane to practice presence. Any daily sense experience can be a great present-moment touch point, and a lovely opportunity that is already built into your schedule is mindful eating.

What is mindful eating?

Mindfulness is a word that comes from Buddhist meditative practices. Mindful eating is a meditative way to eat, bringing our full attention into the present moment.

Do you often rush and distract yourself while eating? If so, you’re missing out. Eating can be a deeply pleasurable and fulfilling experience, not just for our bodies, but for our spirits. Eating offers us an opportunity every day to slow down and savor being alive.

(In case you’re worried that you already enjoy eating too much, I’ll mention that people who eat mindfully actually end up eating less because they feel more satisfied by their food, and mindful eating is recommended by health practitioners.)

Here's how I recommend doing it.

1. Plate your food and sit down. (I know, radical, right?, for those of us who eat while standing at the kitchen counter or while driving to work.) Look at your food, notice the shapes and colors. Feel how your body responds to the sight. You may feel uplifted by the beauty, you may salivate, or you may feel other ways that your body welcomes the food.

2. Take a moment to separate eating from the rush and bustle of the day. Make it sacred with a simple pause or by lighting a candle. Remember how amazing the act of eating actually is. We are taking other beings that grew from the earth, water, and sunlight into ourselves and transforming them to become part of our bodies and to fuel our lives with energy. It’s an incredible act of communion in which we literally merge with the natural world.

3. Smell your food before you start eating it; lean over your plate and inhale. Millions of years of evolution went into making the odors and flavors on your plate. We are in a biochemical conversation with our food, fruits evolved to appeal to our senses, and our senses have evolved to love fruit. Not to mention the thousands of years of agriculture and culinary arts that have enhanced the smells and tastes further.

4. Now here’s the most mind-blowing part. After you put the first bite of food into your mouth, rest your hands on your lap, and close your eyes.

   This is when you actually feel and taste your food, and you may have never done this. Most of us are already filling the fork with the next mouthful at this point, as we listen to a podcast or remind the kids to use their napkins, and the actual food goes untasted and even largely unchewed before it’s swallowed and replaced with the next untasted bite. Sound familiar?

   Feel the morsel of food in your mouth. Don’t chew yet. You’ll notice that, with your eyes closed, the experience in your mouth gets magnified. It’s kind of like opening a pop-up book, as soon as you close your eyes, what seemed flat and dull takes on new dimensions and turns psychedelic.

   Our tongues are so sensitive to texture that they can feel every crease in a raisin as though it’s a canyon. You’ll taste ingredients that you’ve never noticed before. Junk food will start to taste junky, and healthful food will become a richer experience. You’ll notice the sweetness in nuts and the tartness of apple skins.

   Bite your food slowly. Feel your teeth going through it. Listen to the crunch sound. As you chew, let the food liquefy and swallow only the liquid. See how much can dissolve in your mouth.

“Drink your food and chew your beverages.”, Gandhi

When you swallow, can you feel the food going down? Can you feel your body reacting? Stay attentive.

After you have completely swallowed your first bite, open your eyes just long enough to get your next bite, and repeat.

Try mindful eating for five minutes.

Set a timer, you’ll be amazed how quickly the time goes. Try it with your family too, and after the time ends, share your experiences. You’ll all appreciate the family cook more than ever.

More importantly, you’ll have a few moments of pure present-moment enjoyment.

As you practice being awake to the joy of eating, you’ll actually strengthen your ability to be awake to all your experiences. You’ll practice loving your experiences and loving life.

And when you get to be fifty years old, or a hundred, you’ll know that each day, for at least a few delicious minutes, you were completely there.

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P.S. If you like to say grace, here are some apt words for mindful eating: the “Five Contemplations” by Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh.

1. This food is a gift of the earth, the sky, numerous living beings, and much hard and loving work.

2. May we eat with mindfulness and gratitude so as to be worthy to receive this food.

3. May we recognise and transform unwholesome mental formations, especially our greed, and learn to eat with moderation.

4. May we keep our compassion alive by eating in such a way that reduces the suffering of living beings, stops contributing to climate change, and heals and preserves our precious planet.

5. We accept this food so that we may nurture our brotherhood and sisterhood, build our community, and nourish our ideal of serving all living beings.

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